I went to church today...

I attended my friends daughters christening. He just text me to thank me. (It’s a bit late)

This will be the second time in roughly a month and a half that i’ve been to a church. The first was for a funeral of a not so distant relative. The funeral i am going to describe as mega catholic. The christening i am going to describe as mega protestant. 

It was my first christening and it was my first funeral where the service was in a church. 

Say what you want about religion but i’ve found that regularly used churches are beautiful. Im a sucker for traditional looking buildings. Cold, though.

As it was a sunday we had to go through a proper sermon before the actual christening. “Go through” makes it sound grueling, which it wasn’t really.

It felt like i was back in school, sitting next to my friends in a room full of people in an assembly. What i used to do during assemblies was misbehave. 

I really don’t know what came over me, today. I couldn’t help it. As i exited the church i really felt bad about singing “Johnny Christ”, making silly jokes, coaxing my friend to ask the organist for requests to see if she’ll do some Bon Jovi. I really felt bad that my belly was rumbling quite loudly. About incorporating the word “Bubba” into every verse (no one heard that, it was personal entertainment), deliberately saying “amen” after everyone to be the last one to say it. I didn’t feel so bad about singing like David Bowie and Scott Stap (Creed), well, until people laughed at me. Then i felt bad. As i left i shook the hand of the man who gave the sermon and i swear he knew it was all me. (which it wasn’t)

My best excuse is that i was very, very hungry. The truth is that church sermons are taken very seriously. When i’m in the middle of this seriousness i get slightly hysterical and it’s difficult to stop. 

My main problem with the two services i’ve recently attended is God. I have no problem with people believing in God. As long as your nice and sane and easy to live near then believe what you want. You can actually tell me, i wont get offended, i’ll more likely be interested as you could teach me something about things i don’t have.

What was i saying? Oh yes, God in the church.

Im not a regular church goer as you’ve guessed. I went to church because there were services there regarding people who are/were important to me or my family. During the funeral of one of the nicest men you’ll never meet, i listened to the main catholic talker guy (priest?) say next to nothing about the deceased’s life, but how he wanted him to go to heaven. He even said “though we are not worthy of your grace, let our prayers guide him to heaven”. Something along those lines. 

During the christening there was similar talk. A lovely little girl, who was chewing her foot in her mothers arms, was getting told in front of her family and friends that “she was not worthy of God but heres some special water anyway. Don’t sin.” Again, not exactly the words but that’s the message. (she looked hilariously cute when he wiped the water off her head. One little spike of hair in the middle of her head :)

I went to two events to celebrate people and the churches talker-guy said nothing about them.

It seems that no one is going to heaven. Especially if your christian. But they want you to which i suppose is a lovely sentiment.

I think people are just scared of dying so they go through this rigmarole of rituals to make it easier on their minds. I can accept that. Me, i think that death is like being knocked out, but forever. Im also very happy with that thought, mainly because it’s funny to me.

After the christening i watched Hawkings Universe. A smashing documentary. My only problem with it was that it left me wanting to read a heck load of books that i cant afford.