Poems (The best of)

During my time and Mind Optimising Ointment I often ended a blog with a cheeky poem. Here are some of my best ones:

Staff party

In the pub. Pissed!
Girls, tits out! 
Not my tits. 

Them! Tits out! 
Strip pontoon! 
Bril-o-pads!

Flowers

Flowers
They are lovely
Oh how lovely them flowers are
Complementing day light
Sugar coating nature's might
Oh them lovely flowers
They smile and smile for hours
But don't eat them
thats Gross

Coffee cup

Coffee table Coffee
No Coaster, No ring
The coffee table coffee cup is empty
A rather redundant thing
Chuck it in the sink, the coffee table cup
Scrub, scrub, scrub it up
The sink coffee cup 
Wipe it down and put it in the cupboard
The cupboard coffee cup
Until you want a drink - of coffee
The cycle is endless
Until the cup is smashed
A coffee cup in pieces

Titles

Titles are labels
For patterns and form
This is a poem 
That has both for no reason
All of my poems 
Follow patterns and form
But never a reason
Thats where ill reform

Dynamic Baseline

Your dynamic Baseline
Your epic melody
you really hook me into this linear gameplay
Yes the gameplay will improve
It'll even bust to a new groove
But ill never forget you
Yes you
Chemical plant zone
From Sonic The Hedgehog 2

Chicken delight

There's nothing you cant do
When your cooked just right
You really are the chicken
Delight
Hangover, mended
Thanks to your taste
So splendid 
Your dance, being funky
make all men look hunky
Your unfertilized eggs
Are the bomb too
So thank you chicken.
You are a Delight

Pain Heels

As i settle
In comfort's feel
Pain develops
In my heel
What to do?
I need to know
Just Change my foot
Im good to go

It was worth it though.

I looked like an idiot
when i fell on purpose in public
It was worth it though

I scared you to death
When i pretended to get lost
It was worth it though

I nearly died 
when i swam through a rip tide
it was worth it though

I felt lower than low
when i lied to your face
that was definitely worth it

I hurt my side
when i fell two foot
it was worth it though

I was vastly disheartened 
when i gave you my cookies
now that, wasn't worth it
oh, go on, yes it was

ensemble 

A guitar that twangs
A drum that bangs
A bell that dings 
A voice that sings
A horn that honks
A keyboard plonks
A bass that slaps
With many hand claps

All these lovely things and more
Can draw a crowd to scream and roar
Or even weep until there's tears
Ensembles power through your ears

Coordination's important though
Don't unleash these noises raw
Do not forget these concepts, three
Befitting rhythm and melody.