My lodger

This past week i've had a lodger in my room. In fairness it doesn't take up much space, what with it being only three inches, toe to toe, and a plump tow and a half centimeter body. It doesn't hang about in the places i use much either. Doesn't play my xbox or read my kindle, waste any of my paper or re-tune my guitar. It sort of keeps to itself, which was part of our agreement; Stay out of my way and i'll not throw you out of my window you scary hairy bastard.

Yes my lodger, Shaq, is a spider. A spider that is bigger than any i've ever seen in my room. Usually spiders that lodge in my room either die or forcibly removed the moment i see them but with Shaq, things are different. Shaq is the only spider i've ever met that has his own special place at the top of my room, where some wallpaper has folded slightly due to humidity. And he's the only spider i know that keeps blundering off his favorite spot and plummeting seven feet to the ground, hitting a curtain rod on his way.

Shaq is a special spider. First of all, i think it's a female (though I referred to her as him in the last paragraph) because it's massive and most spiders are bigger when their female. Being female isn't that special, really, but it is when your named after a male basketball star. I believe that Shaq is protecting my room. Shaq laps the top of my room roughly 3 times a day. I don't see her in the night. But since i've let Shaq roam the walls of my room i've not seen a single insect try it's luck in my room. (Although that could be due to the lower temperature.)

Shaq is a small source of horrific looking levity in my room, like having an ugly pet. She's funniest when im reading and the room is silent but for my giggling at Tom Sawyer. At the corner of my eye i can see a big black speck trickle across the wall to my left and then it's gone. A millisecond later i hear three or so strings of my banjo puck quite loudly. And Shaq will scurry quickly under it towards the wall. 

Shaq has been recorded falling from near the roof four times. As i write this she is on the top of the wall above my guitar. She's quite trusting as she's even posed for a photo that i'll show you later.

I hope she doesn't fall on my head. She nearly has while i was sitting at my desk. She was chilling behind a Thrice ticket hanging down from the alcove overlooking my desk. Luckily my shelf filed with toys and CD's caught her fall.

Spider's in Britain aren't all that bad. They bloody look it, though.

From enemy to friend in two laps.

I've had a two day binge of old xbox games which has just come to an end. Im mighty glad i must say. 

Before i started I tidied my room all spick and span as to mildly justify the act of sloth that i was about to perform. (though there was no performance, except for on my TV screen) I will say, the room is still as spick and span. which is a good thing. My boundless inactivity has preserved the integrity of my room.

That one thing and the fact that I was gaming are the only pro’s of the last two days. Oh, and podcasts. Lots of podcasts.

The cons include a throbbing headache on the left side of my head, a sore neck as the Tv’s high in the corner of my room, and a numb mind.

Was it worth it? YES!

All i did in my spare time was look up in the corner of my room and playing a game, whilst laughing at podcasts every now and again. I told myself that not getting up was the “point” and i was sticking to my guns.

There was one time last night where I wanted to get up, though.

While I was cleaning my room I had made an enemy of a previously hidden tenant of my room. A 6-7cm spider (back toe to front toe) who’d set up shop in the corner behind the television. There were too many obstacles between us for me to grab it and maroon it in the unknown beyond my window. Lucky spider.

At about ten-o-clock every night it pops out of it’s little web-hut and creeps around the the room by the roof. It slowly does a lap around the room between 10pm and 2am. I was always completely aware of where this octo-legged monster was at all times when it crept about. However it never veered away from the corner where the wall hits the celling.

Until last night.

Wrex, which is what i decided to name it, did it’s usual lap in it’s anti-clockwise fashion around the room until it hit the curtain. I was always a little more tense when it was above my head as i had to move my neck to look at it when my game took a boring turn. Moving my neck defeated the purpose of my lazy two nights but i was constantly fascinated and an incy-wincy bit nervous.

So it reached the curtain and actually mounted the curtain pole, which wasn’t protocol. By the celling ALWAYS BY THE CELLING! It wasn't listening to my thoughts. No. It was creeping it’s way down the curtain until about half way, when it started getting closer to me. It had previously spun a web connecting the curtain to my guitar case, which it sat on for a while, watching me.

GET OFF MY GUITAR CASE, WREX, YOU MASSIVE, TINY DANCER! I thought. 

Wrex had broken the rules. It had entered my territory which is anything except the high parts of the walls and of course, the celling. This was my chance. I could maroon Wrex, finally.

But it just sat there. Casually watching and scratching it’s nose occasionally. Or at least something that looks like that. Scratching his legs with his fangs or something similar to what a tame animal would do in it’s corner. I couldn’t throw this sweet thing out into the cold unknown. It trusted me!

*Plus, I can’t be bothered to get up during my quickly diminishing hours of gaming. And i’ve got a headache.*

After my contemplation filled stare off with Wrex i decided to leave it be. It soon climbed back up the curtain and back to it’s silk bungalow. 

So now i have a room mate. Wrex the spider. My creepy crawly companion. Someone/something that keeps me company for 4 hours in the night.